Friday, March 12, 2010

Self portrait Friday!



Scary as it may be , I have accepted a challenge from a lady in blog-world-here’s her post-Ornamental

No preplanning or any of that- I just opened the web cam and clicked- as you can see I’m not alone! This picture pretty much describes my week too- happy,but a little tired-and spending the days with my hard-workin man- always close by.

These Friday self portraits should accomplish a couple of things-

First- perhaps some of my vanity will be minimized by actually looking at what all of you  see all the time!

Second- I hope to see myself more objectively and get a bit more comfortable with my “very own ME”  :)- Sometimes the old lady in the mirror is a total stranger to me- she looks much older and ….ahem….heavier than I remember…or feel!

Finally- each week as I look at me, I hope to look deeper into myself  to find the areas of discomfort that I deal with and work on them a bit- acceptance,if you will.

The very first thing that comes to mind that I need to figure out is how to accept a compliment graciously. I’ve been caught off guard a couple of times in the last few months and each time I stumbled around and landed badly – just escaping the moment awkwardly.

Ever since the third time it happened I started watching others (smart,right?) and have been trying to memorize the ones who graciously accepted  kind compliments.

I’m still workin on it- and I have a long way to go but I am determined to learn this skill!!!!! Is it false humility to be amazed that someone would compliment me in the first place? I don’t know- I just know that it just stupifies me and I deflect and run as far and fast as I can!!!

OK-I have now given myself an assignment for the week- or the next several weeks if it takes it!!!

How hard can it be-right??


Dawn Dutton said...

Love the post! music also! thanks your a inspiration to me!

Autumn said...

Thanks Dawn!!!

Have you read Nina's blog over at Ornamental?

Sheryl-lyn said...

What a great journey to take each week. Hope you finally realize just how lovely you are!

marilyn said...

I used to struggle with this terribly, until one day i complimented a friend(a yankee, i might add), and she responded with...duh, du, duh..... "thank you."
And it took me off guard. i was so used to the "refusing the compliment rapport" that often goes on between women.
There was no back and forth, denying one's talents, even putting one's own self down.
it was just "thank you."
And i have never forgotten how special that moment was.
Saying thank you does not make you arrogant.
A compliment is a gift, and when humbly received, it is only proper to let that someone know how much you appreciate their comment.

And while we are at it,
I think we should also touch on the topic of photos.
As a child i used to love the camera, but as i grew older, i noticed women would cover their faces, or run. So i just assumed this was photo protocol.
Again, having photos taken does not automatically make you arrogant.
How often are we, the moms, busy behind the camera that we are rarely included in the photos.

My cousin mentioned this to me one day of how special it would be to have photos of her with her mom when she was young. And that she made it a point to always take the time to be in the photos with a child or all of her children.

These photos are chapter in our lives.
They can be thumbed thru and bring back a memory from way back.
A picture of me and my hubby during our high school years still gives me the butterflies.

An older child going thru a difficult time in their life can view a photo of him with his father, and be reminded of that love that did and does still exist between them.

Or we can be reminded of how thin we used to be, when we didn't believe it!

Bottom line:
accept compliments graciously,
and be in as many photos with family and friends as possible.

Speaking of.... yesterday i sat on the floor digging thru boxes of photos, and what do you think i found?
Autumn and me, embracing one another and smiling. i have no idea when we took it, but i'm glad we did.
We looked great!

Autumn said...

Now you need to go post this on your blog!!!!!
I kinda got teary as I read this-
so many thoughts......
The simple "Thank you" is exactly what I'm aiming for- it's just a puzzle to me why it is so disturbing to me for someone(especially strangers,or new aquaintances(sp???) ) to compliment me.
Honestly- my first thought is that they feel sorry for me- I have no idea why I think that - but I do- I am working at getting that thought pattern out of my head as well.
And the pictures- uggh!!! Honestly- sometimes pictures remind me of very sad times that I would rather forget!That has to be dealt with as well-
You are right on about the weight thing- I remember feeling soooo fat "back in the day" and one look at a picture and WHAM! Reality slaps me in the face!! I was thin- really thin!!! :) Nice to see-I had forgotten that!!!:)